A new chapter

At the end of the day yesterday, I was coldly told that I was being laid off by the small, family-owned company that I spent almost five years with. It obviously came as a complete shock and I admit I did a lot of crying the entire drive home and throughout the night. That's the worry in me that I know God is going to cleanse me of through this whole process. Thankfully, I have some pretty stable people in my life, including my husband and parents, who can see the bigger picture.

I have been praying for the last three years that God would deliver me from that particular place. Granted, there were aspects I enjoyed -- mainly the amazing people I worked with in the communities I covered, and the girls I developed lasting relationships with in our little cubicle area.

But for the most part, I was quite miserable. I dreaded each new week and I didn't like the employee I had become. There, I felt lazy, prideful ... even rebellious because I had grown so tired of the pettiness, the lack of professionalism, the backstabbing.

I felt very out of place there last week, and Sunday night, realizing that I only had two stories to turn in for deadline, I had this overwhelming dread come over me. I prayed that God would either renew my mind or deliver me. And at 4 o'clock, he did the latter. Finally. It wasn't the way I envisioned leaving -- I always thought I'd be walking out door by my choosing.

I know deep down that this is a huge blessing and I know that God is going to take care of us. I am trying to realize the excitement of what he has in store for me just around corner. To even fathom that He has a bigger plan for me is amazing. I know it is going to be even better that what I've ever experienced.

When I woke up this morning, my husband had left my Bible open on the bathroom sink to Jeremiah 29:11, and a note of how excited he is for me. He's probably relieved that I don't have to spend evenings at dull council meetings, stressing out over low story counts or doubting my abilities.

I visited the umemployement office this afternoon -- I could barely find a parkng space -- and I now understand the worry that can grip those who have lost their jobs, especially those who don't have a spouse's income to fall back on.

Before I began searching for jobs, I wrote an email to my closest contacts over the years, about 25. I let them know what happened, how much I have enjoyed working with them, that I don't know how their areas of the community will be covered, and of course, asked if they could keep their eyes and ears open. I have gotten immediate responses in the past hour, and they have let me know that I was valued, I was appreciated and I will be missed. I'm overwhelmed by their kindness.

I have also recieved notes from friends offering up ideas and prayers. It means a lot.

I know that this is an important time in my life. I know God is going to be really changing me, growing me and giving me some time to renew my mind and my heart and evaluate what path I will embark on next.

Keep me in your prayers!